Everything in this story unfolds within an apartment in Istanbul.
Backstory: In 2019, the author experienced a severe depressive episode, confining him to his home for an entire year. His only outings were for psychiatrist visits and brief trips to the city centre. As months of isolation passed, the city became a distant memory, morphing into a monstrous, ever-changing entity. The photographer clung to the few photographs he could take, dedicating every waking moment to studying, editing, sorting, and writing about them. The episode would last until 2022.
Society often views mental health as a personal struggle, with alienation as a common consequence. This work, however, externalises the author's battles, reflecting the impact of a newly diagnosed bipolar disorder on various facets of Istanbul.
The photographs capture both everyday life in Istanbul and the emotions these moments evoke in the photographer, offering a glimpse into a heavily medicated mind. The scenes depicted are serene, occasionally chilling, often restless, yet oddly loving.
Navigating a city of 16 million while grappling with a mental disorder: Through photographs, we come to understand that the vocabulary of existing in a crowded metropolis and the inner turmoil of a somber individual share many similarities. One might even say they speak the same language. Photography becomes their silent dialogue and poignant acknowledgment of a single, certain truth: Perhaps it was time to leave. A central question emerges: Who is being forgotten, the photographer or the city?
Through photography, this body of work creates a shared memory for both the author and the city; a collection of images to revisit once the struggle subsides.
Author biography
Ci Demi (he/him — b. 1986, Istanbul, Türkiye) is a photographer based in Istanbul. He studied Italian Language and Literature at Istanbul University. At 28, he discovered photography.
His photographs have been featured in prominent publications like Foam Magazine and the British Journal of Photography. Demi's work has been showcased at renowned festivals and venues, including Les Rencontres d'Arles, Istanbul's Pera Museum, and Milano's MUDEC.
In 2022, his series Unutursan Darılmam (No Offence If You Forget, 2018—2024) was selected as the winner of Discovery Awards at Encontros da Imagem photography festival.
Onagöre published Demi's debut photobook, Şehir Fikri (Notion of a City, December 2022), an eerie portrayal of Istanbul marked by the absence of people, animals, and language. Inspired by Georges Perec's oulipo novel La Disparition (A Void, 1969), the book focuses on the city's haunting essence.
His personal work explores the psychogeography of Istanbul, intricately weaving together intimate narratives of the city's landscape with his own lived experiences. While he adopts a documentarian approach to his images (ensuring they are always unstaged), his use of colour to convey a quiet tension is prominent in his work.
Based in Istanbul, he is a documentary photographer whose work is frequently featured in publications such as The New York Times, the Financial Times, and Der Spiegel. He’s a member of Connected Archives and an affiliate of PLATFORM by GAPO.